Middle of the night thoughts

It's now the end of March, and I still haven't found a job.

My agency has not come through. Several other agencies have simply sent letters saying they have nothing to suit me. I had an interview at the bridal shop, but I guess they didn't choose me. Neither did the childrenswear shop, or the designer shop, or House of Fraser, nor Borders. I had the arts-related interview. Thought there was a good chance there since they were only interviewing 6 people and choosing 4, but they didn't choose me.

I recently put in an application at Pret a Manger. I went to the job center and looked on their computer and found a few things of interest. Three were very short term jobs at the Norfolk Show, one handling costumes backstage. Since I've done that, both in theater and backstage at a fashion runway show in New York, I thought that would be a shoo-in. The woman on the phone said she'd send the application package, but she didn't. Yesterday I had an interview with a company that transfer prints T-shirts and does custom embroideries like those little logos you see on uniforms. The job is in production, actually managing the embroidery machines. I had a job in New York for a while doing designs for a company that does first sample machine embroideries for the garment trade. This job is full time and minimum wage, but I'd learn something new that might well be of use to me as a textile designer. I'd rather have part-time, but I'd deal with it, I guess, even though it would mean giving up my tutoring and selling at shows these next few months.

I truly don't know what's wrong. Is it that I'm American? That I'm 55? That I'm overeducated? (B.A. in chemistry, Ph.D. in biochemistry, and A.A. in textile design, in case anyone's interested) I've got about ten versions of my CV now, even one in which I do my best to hide that I ever had any degrees other than the AA or any work other than the temp office work I did at the end of last year.

I just found out today that I may have been answering one of the standard application questions wrong. They ask: Do you need a work permit to work in the UK. I have a spousal visa with full working rights connected to my American husband's work visa. I figured that that meant yes, I did need a work permit, the one I already have. But a friend tells me no, that that question is meant to ask if I will need the employer to go to a whole lot of paper-work-involving trouble in order to hire me. The answer to that is no. I have full working rights already.

The other thing it says on my visa is "No Recourse to Public Funds". I don't think the folks who turn me down for jobs consider what that means in terms of life consequences of finding or not finding a job. If a Brit looks and looks and keeps getting turned down for jobs, they still have a certain amount of income, access to council housing, other types of benefits. I have none of those. If I don't find a job, there's just that big empty hole in the family budget that has to be filled from somewhere. That somewhere is my retirement account from the US, which has now practically been stripped.

And that's why I'm up in the middle of the night worrying.

Update in March

We've been here nearly a year now. My husband has been totally cleared of all the accusations, with the help of the legal system. It sure has taken a while, though, and in the meanwhile, he must start the process of getting the final approval of his qualifications all over again through a different agency. His strongest skills are being used in the most mundane way in his present job. We have learned, though, that patience and not giving up do eventually work here.

As for me, I have set out again on the path to employment. I complete the WEETU course tomorrow and the AA2A mini-residency at the end of March. Because my jewelry is in two shops and I am tutoring three students, i will only need to take on part-time work at the moment. I seriously hope it will not be office work. I simply can't build a good work history here doing work I do not enjoy.

I've contacted the temp agency I worked for just before taking on the AA2A and during it up to December. I was doing data entry, mostly. I've also left off my CV at four places, each time with a little speech about how I hesitate to leave it without talking to the hiring person because my extensive background tends to discourage hiring for lo level jobs. One was at Borders. I actually have bookstore experience and enjoyed the work. Ironically, it was at the Borders at the World Trade Center (sometime before the fall). I also left it at a bridal shop which needs someone on Saturdays. Some of my beadwork would be great for weddings and I'm a whiz at hand sewing and embroidery in particular, but I left it there once before with no response. Another place was a kidswear store, where the clerk at the sales desk was a textile graduate herself, but not the hirer, of course. And the last was a designer shop, where the sales clerk was impressed with my NY fashion background, but also not the hirer. If nothing happens on Monday, I'll be out to the other agencies on Tuesday.

I do have prospects. The costumer I worked with in NYC, Lara of LaraCorsets (google it), who has a side business in historically accurate corsets and gowns, wants me to do hand embroidery on two gowns. One will be floral, the other blackwork. I'm really looking forward to it.

I also have an interview on Thursday for a local arts project that aims to reconcile older folks with young folks in a dodgy neighborhood. I studied criminology (the main problem for the elders seems to be fear of crime by the youths) and race ethnic relations, which should help, and I have several ideas. But I am not interviewing for lead artist, so I may not have the opportunity to carry them out. The lead artist was to have experience in a project with young people. Another case of the type of thing artists in the US don't document, though there is no doubt that I was one of the best demonstrators at the West Virginia fair when it came to interacting with young people.

And then there's no telling what the AA2A show or the other show might bring me. Not to mention the fact that I am getting to know quite a few of the local artists through WEETU, the AA2A, an artists networking group, and all the other resources I have used in the past few months. I'm seriously hoping I will eventually be able to do some reenactment work, though I simply cannot afford right now to volunteer.

I'm wondering what difference my activities since my last search for work here will have. I will be very disappointed if there is no discernable effect.